Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Rose's LiveJournal:

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Friday, July 31st, 2009
11:08 pm	Last updated 212 weeks ago. That's awesome. Well, it's 2009. I was blagging through Myspace, but since I moved to Boston (8/08) I haven't been using that much, so maybe I should use this again? I'm digging the bunny ears picture, but it might be time for a new one? We'll see. Current Mood: curious (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 13th, 2001
9:28 pm	first significant thought: I open the door to the cold harshness of reality last significant thought: I watch you as you watch me, sliding off into the darkness, same as countless nights before, I'm tired of watching you walk away -Thorny Goodness (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 25th, 2001
11:12 pm	i'm so lonely. blah, i hate it. i feel unattreactive and unwanted. and, well.. i wish my friends wanted to hang out with me. wow, i can tell somethign's wrong, bvecause i dont even feel like complaining. maybe i'll just go to bed, i mean, it's freakin 11 (somewhere) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, October 15th, 2001
5:42 pm	Excuse me, a little help over here. can anyone explain any of this "'Life'" thing to me? I get lost before i even aproach the game board. Sadly, I suppose I understand the same or more than average, and i'm still totally confuzzled. i swear it all made sense 5 years ago. Now the things I understand are the ones that have abit as much to do with me and my dad and celery. Not exactly sure what I'm rantign about? Let me give you an example, I write poetry sometimes, or a song, but i dont write it down, and if i did, i wouldn't give it to who ever I've thinking, which many will say "oh well neither do i, i use it to get out what's on my mind" btu I dont, I DRAW to let out my feelings. If it's written, than the only good it'll do me is if i give it to who ever made me that nerveracked to begin with. ahh it's all fubar anyway. but some good things have happened to balence out my confused-ed existance, I got a 1 on my Solo for chorus, and for those of you who dont know, that's good. I realize also though I feel like things aren't workign right, I must be doing somethign correct, because I've managed to climb to the level of confidant with a friend of mine, by just being myself. I wish being myself worked elsewhere, but due to being human, I'm constantly changing and things that worked 5 years ago, DO NOT work now. *sigh* but this same thing is nothign new, so I'll stop now approaching dates of varying importantance: weekend before halloween, shindig (which I'm torn about, as I will explain soon) New Years aka JB2k1, I've been trying to get a hold of Dylan, but that boy manages to be nowhere I am when I need him. and that will be for about a week. I'll float around I suppose, but i may opp. to stay in one place this year, unless that person gets tired of me, heh. Late June summer 2003. anyone who can come better! It's my senior year and I want to make it special. It'll be BarBQ and sleepover and what ever else for as long as I can. I'm countign on my #gifted peeps to roadtrip out. now that halloween thing, I find I have friends with extreme variences in personality. I want so many different peopel to be there... It really is a bitch. with out question Zerek Bob and Drew if he can, but then I want everyone from Brian G. to Dane, and all that inbetween might not work out. so, i may back up, cut the ropes, and make it very small and private, have a couple movies, and chill, since I doubt my dad wants to deal with 50 kids with fire coming out of their noses. on that note, I wonder when I'll egt to work on Bob's costume.... ahh whenever he goes to the store with me. oh! I wrote a game! fun fun end of words, end of time, end of interest. Current Mood: discontent Current Music: Squirrel Nut Zippers - Lover's Lane (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 14th, 2001
2:41 am	There is no f***ing dog you're walkign through the hallway and you hear a high pitched scream and you look around goign "huh?" so by the time you realize you were standing on the dog, she's really pissed off. my sis leaves amsg on the answering machine today "hi! i got a new cell phoen and i'm tryign it out, bye now..*pasue* how do i turn it off? ... Where's the End? *another voice* Hit End. There is no f***ing End.... " *beep* (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 27th, 2001
8:15 am	"Who can run through fields of fire? 'I can, Ican.' I am the daughter of darkness!" that is what I yelled to luke as I ran through the feild of burning daisies to escape the prison camp where I had lived for 13 years of my life. I was faster than a grass fire, and strong enough so guards flinched. My friends were my follows and I was free. Current Mood: enthralled Current Music: the whirl of my computer at 6:15 am (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 27th, 2001
8:13 pm	nothing to worry about in life there are only 2 things to worry about: if you're healthy or if you're sick if you're healthy, there's nothing to worry about if you're sick, there are only 2 things to worry about: if you live or if you die if you live, there's nothing to worry about if you die, there are only 2 things to wrry about: if you go to heaven or if you go to hell if you go to heaven, there is nothign to worry about if you go to hell, you'll be too busy shakeing hands with everyone you know to worry. Current Mood: amused Current Music: Merril Bainbridge - Garden In My Room (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 11th, 2001
10:54 pm	dancer i watched to woman dance, and the wind waved through her hair. she leaped high and turned to watch me. the warmth in her eyestook me in, the room glowed with her presance. with skill she swayed and with grace she parted the night. on and on she danced, till she grew small and wavered. so i piled more wood onto the fire. Current Mood: full Current Music: 32. B&BAmerica - Track 2 (Comment on this)
Monday, August 6th, 2001
11:41 am	dream. or what i remember the earliest thing i remember is the begining of the race. I was a horse, and all us horses sat back and watched our riders swim across this river. a few mion later the horses went. or i went and the others followed. i hit the other side first, and then the prized horse swam up behind me and beat everyone (she started acroos last!) so then we all had to run this rocky path, up and down moutains. i went one path that was too steep, so all the other horses pulled way ahead. so i just followed my riders scent. when i reached the finish the 2 winning horse were re taking the finishline picture, so it looked good, so i ran as fast as i could and tripped them as they crossed the line. my rider came up and huged me. he could talk to me ya see, and even though my brain was telling me "you're not even a horse, this race didn't matter" i was fighting to hold back the tears. so then all the riders were standing with their horses and there was a big discussion abotu the riders not apreciating their horses, that they were smarter than they thought. so i talked to the horses and told them to do stuff to prove this point. latter we went into the back room to wrap wounds, and everyone maveled at how smart this horse was. so around this time i showed them i was a shape shifter, and went back to my human form. then my rider, Juan, thought i said his name wrong so he playfully chased me around tellign me he was goign to have to tell me better french (not spanish cause he knew which i took in school) and in a pool rvery one was tryign to get me to change into somethign cool, so they were doign soemthing toi me, and i changed into a hippo, and everyone realized what they were doing and got out of the pool, then i turned into various extreming dangerous non existant things, like somethign that looked like a doll. they got me out when they put in a doll and i turned both it and me into whales, and that brought me back to my senses. when i got out of the pool, it was filled with blood. so we were walking away acroos this wooden planked frozen road, and i forgot to unfreeze one, so i got stuck, and twisted my ankle/busted my toe, so i couldn't consentrate on unfreezing it. so i had to teach my friend how to do it. sucked to give away the secret, though i dont think they really got the hang of it. there was a little boy that was dieing to kiss some pretty girls, so he ran up on stage at the kind of dance at a belesque house and the girls made him blush really bad and get off the stage, and he got a nice seat right in front. somehow i was there then, and laughigng at him, when one ofthe girls was talkign to me abotu if he hadn't tried to sing (he was way off key) they would have let him stayed. and i commented he shouldve shapeshifted into a pretty girl and gone of stage with the girls. there was also some stuff in this girls mroom, who she was forced to share with like ten other fems, and they had left, and we were throuwing their shit away. the thing was, everytime the girl bought somehign, all the other girls HAD to have one just like it, like these orange plastic mugs of neat pullover/robes that never even had the price tag taken off. and right now, that's all i remember. except that many parts were so real, it was almost labeled 'memory' insted of 'dream' i still want to cry thinking how hard i ran that race and still lost, i mean i started out in first... Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: Pixies - Where Is My Mind? (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 5th, 2001
12:53 pm	to the pale stranger: so is my hero the same as my stranger, or no? darn you people and your "anonymous"ness! well stranger, i really liked that poem :) and dan/hero, you could chalenge the other Knight, but i doubt he would duel, he'd prob say "here ya go, take her" MAN! jalopeno bagels really make my nose run. eeegads. well i'm out of things to say, so laters. Current Mood: artistic Current Music: Lisa Lobe - Do You Sleep (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 1st, 2001
1:29 am	o/~ K - I - S - S - I - N - YOUR MOM!!!! -Bob so having dreams about androids, pimps, Lex Learn, goatheads and Dan Weihn. weirdness. so i wake up and after the most girly stuff i've done in over a month i happen to glance at my fish Pisco Bandito... she is about 2x (literally) bigger than when i left. Drew REALLY must have been feeding him/her/it well i hate dishes. If i dont get to talk to one of the dan's in my life soon, i'm gonna get so ripped. both i'm having dreams about :/ hehe, funny thing is the one i barely know is playing the hero. ohhh dishes then bed, my brain is no longer working in proper order. takin' pictures of past breezes, Rose Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: hum of machines and the whirl of the fan (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 31st, 2001
11:44 am	goody goody gumdrops, ehh? I like being home. both bob and dusty picked me up and swung me around. and when i called drew the "ROSE!!!!!" was quite satisfying. Drew's puppy is damn cute. we ripped Mummy off hard core with footprints on the ceiling... (not true. it was actually a shoe mark on the wall, but the way she went on you'd think we dipped our feet in paint first. they might be giants pleases me so much. http://www.instantweb.com/l/laurence/khai/khai02.htm is a pretty good laugh i love oreos, but manuvering them so i can chew is weird. stupid braces. i cant even dip them in milk to make them soft. stupid lactose. i should shower and go see kevin or drew. *puts another oreos into food hole* my elbow hurts. and even though i desevre it still sucks. i took kevin's hat. then threw it and then when i wasn't looking... *tackle* MY KNIFES CAME! ok, i'm talking about nothing. laters all PMN Current Mood: calm Current Music: animals- house of the rising sun (Comment on this)
Monday, July 23rd, 2001
8:43 pm	what? man, my legs are an interesting shade of bright fucking red. *sigh* i could boil a pint of water on these thighs. Yarmouth is a nice place, but i would rather be in Dexter. hehe, and i wish i could take my Roswell friends away from that place so i dont have to go back. ho damn. i just saw a comercial for this leg stuff that makes your leg hair grow back thinner. that's so bitching. well i'm not exactly comfy will being on my cousin's laptop w/o him here, so i'll be checking my mail for a day or two. i wish i knew whenb peopel thought i was cool, lame, or didn't care, cause if someone thinks i'm lame, i'm perfectly willing to leave them alone, and if they mthink i'm cool, then i dont have to worry about annoying them by sending them e-mails or what ever. *sigh* take care loves, to the people who have started to come to my journal that i dont know: rock on. you pump my nads. peace out Rose "'PMN'" F.L. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 17th, 2001
9:19 am	God, I like monkeys I love rain. it's rainign here and I dig it hardcore. hmph, my cousin just made fun of my typing. i gave her a raspberry. reading e-mail's from Geoff is fun. lots of things about monkeys. I like monkeys. when people eat shushes early in the morning, boy that scraping ice sound sends chills up my spine. *brrrr* "we did it Bob, we finished the road!" heheh, craymation vehicles PMN. i dotn want a job. :( though i really do. i just cant get one. *grumble* Bob the builder! (*snicker*) blue cat +big feet+really long tial== rockin' I go to Dexter today. ohhi'm nervous! i hope it goes ok. *yawn* but i'll be sleepy. well i'm gonna stop writeing, check some stuff and start getting ready. hope everyone is ok with out me!! Current Mood: chipper Current Music: NickJr. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 16th, 2001
4:52 pm	chillin' with my cousins talkign to my cousin about what my fav # is is so cool :) man i like being here. Mallory is a sweetie, i just made her get into my lap and now we're hangin out. i like to write in my journal, but i think this will be short. i miss being home, but it's ok, i'm having fun. i went swimming all day. and joined the coolest club in the whole world. the harry potter club! yay me! we rocked. well that's it. if i stay here tonight i'll write agina. bye all! Rose Current Mood: content Current Music: backgroundmof rugrats, and Mallory's voice (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 14th, 2001
1:42 am	yeah sure, i think everybody should have guns, all different kinds. but i think only i should have the bullets. i dont even trust you people with string. [15:58] i really hate windows [15:59] i really hate the clap [16:00] i don't know much about it but it sounds like no fun at all [16:00] haha [16:00] It's the disease that keeps on giving Time to pull an all nighter! The male parental unit has decided that we will leave at about 4 some. and in sted of giveing myself insignificant sleep I will just stay up... most likely. at very least, i'll sleep in my clothes :) but right now is the time for good tunes and good times. /coke will be the death of me. you could use my blood to disolve build up on a car battery heheheh./ w00t! i just learned 2 new words. recumbent and quixotic. i dig 'em both. i wonder how soon i'll get to use them is a sentence, if ever./ mmm, goth clothes. i'm cleaning out my bookmarks, and there are some sweet pages. OHHHHHH!! i found somethign i want SO bad!! a black peignoir. it pumps my nads so hard core!! *whines* damn! i wonder if it will be here in 2 weeks :/ *sigh* damn you velvetgarden for teasing me! woh, nice teddy, but it really doesn't PMN. man i totally want this stuff. grrrr. AHHH they have a dragon dress! i may end up just goign to bed :/ ahhh, I'm a sucker for sweet thinsg between *'s. life is very funny. God must be laughign his ass off at me. I can hear him smirking when we talk at night. He's sucha smart ass anyway that this is almost intolerable. heheh I'm kidding. though i'm more than certain that if god manifested himself in an earthly body and started to talk to me, he'd say a lot of the things i already imagine him saying. I have a very strong imagination, even to the point of physical things, or i'm on the level magically/spirtitually or i smoke too much weed. i can feel things happening. justa second ago, i could have turned my head and swore i would see the presance of a personwho just nudged my chin with his fist and recieved a sideways grin in return. but now trying to replay it in my mind, the same feeling liek ti is actually happening isn't there. *sigh* maybe i'm a nut. though it does come in handy when you are wishing to have the feelings of someone you love close to you. but then i wonder, were they thinking of holding me right then too? maybe it is some spirtitual conection, and maybe not. most likely not. of course this skill has it's downsides, when a story is related to me, i can easily pisture it, which often causes me to be almost sick. that's one of the real reasons i hate peopel i love cutting. other than being threaten about it, i can feel the sharp object slicing my own skin with the mearest thought. i've acidently given myself some really nasty cuts with razors and glass, the same things i see people use the most often,and i can relate that awful feeling anytime they mention it. i hurt even now. *sigh* this is weird to type out. as i just said to geoff, i best not proof this, or i may not keep what i've said. blah. what am i goign to do tomorrow aside from sleeping? read and draw i guess. i'm gonna read, wait for Geoff to get on again, and hit the sack. sleepiness is strong when i want to stay up *sigh* i'll miss my roswell people. heh, i know Drew will miss me. *gets somehting to drink* I'm starting to appreciate Dr. Pepper I guess. I'll always be a coke girl, but still, not bad. /holy shit, i just french braided my hair. doesn't look half bad either. though it's a bit loose in some places, my hands started to cramp. i wish someone could see my bra right now, black stringy and held together with safetypins, it's really cool looking. man, i am such a hippy. i'm wearing: a bucket hat w/ a flower and 1969 on it, a home made SaNa Inc. shirt, flannel pants,thick walking socks, with my tevas, and a pouch thing that i have my wallet in so it'll be close to my body.and my hair braided, add the hemp on my wrist, and i'm such a hippy.i'm even thinking baout making them braided pigtails :) hehehe. everyone go to Flipse.com! for shits and giggles if for nothign else. ok, i'm gonna read till either geoff gets on again or i fall asleep. goodbye anyone reading this! (by that i mean geoff or cody, since no one else ever knows it exists) falling into molehills Rose. Current Mood: quixotic Current Music: Moxy Früvous - Earthquakes (Comment on this)
Friday, July 13th, 2001
4:01 pm	o/~ and the world screams, "Kiss me son of God!" I've found a way to make you I've found a way, a way to make you smile I'd read bad poetry, into your machine I'd save you messages just to hear your voice. Because you listen carefully, to awkward rhymes You always say your name like I wouldn't know it's you at your most beautiful You say the concrete broke your fall You look it too though you say you'll walk it off I count your eyelashes Whispering, with every one I think you're wonderful with your closed eye watching me me listening I thought I saw a smile. -KJE any song that says "i have a big fat boner" deserves praise. thank you UFC. last day in Roswell *sigh* we'll see if i write again. UFCPMN, Rose Current Mood: indescribable Current Music: Used For Comparison - I've Got A Big Fat Boner (Comment on this)
1:59 am	nothing's good change my clothes, ever anymore. now all little things fall asleep. not logn now. this is my last night to fuck around, and i did, btu still.. it's a bit sobering. tomorrow i score some mini golf action with peeps that i dont see much. it's cool, cept i can see it turnign into a huge group thing, and though that rocks, I want to get to knwo the people i can. but soon here I must pack. I'm torn inbetween dressing atractivly, or advertizing Sa Na Inc. most likely sexy, and then if they invite me back, i'll show my other side. but then again, being sexy includes my huge ass pants and a tight shirt, maybe I'll wear a push up bra and blow their minds. heheh. I hope I'm cool on tuesday when i see these people. once in a while i'll look at pics of my self when I'm relaxed, and I have an air about me "I'm cool, I'm chillin'" but in real life i never have that air, and justa loud dorky asshole (which is cool, but still) bbs, many things call umm, nuked pizza, i'm hungry.i need some icream too, that would rock me, yum yum yum. i wish more money was to be had, because burritos would be the best. maybe i need some hot sauce i still whould pack, i hoep i rememebr to before cracking open my book again. we all hope. i wonder if it's worth staying on, waititng for diablo to get boring.. i know better. ack ! ane i need to clean still :/ blah. i hope drew takes care of thinsg while i'm gone, i'll be pissed if he plays with my guitars and/or my comp. and I'll know, i'll lay traps, not that i think drew would go againest my requests, but i understand some things are too tempting (ie, letting aphrodite shit on my floor) oh the sleepiness!!forget anymore typing. i'll stay up for cleaning, packing, and waiting, but then.. sleep must come. good night you readers Current Mood: mellow Current Music: Captain Beefheart - Her Eyes A Blue Million Miles (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 12th, 2001
5:08 am	wrinkle nose goodnights are the worst because you never want to literally wiggle your ears good night and hop into bed. there are so many more carrots to eat, holes to dig and bunnies to make. but pillow sleepign buddies are better than non and sleep is the escape from truth may you eat a dick if you ever run out of carrots Rose Current Mood: amused Current Music: a perfect circle - Rose (1 Comment |Comment on this)
1:28 am	what are dreams without people to share them with? i hate crying. unavoidable reaction and only stress releiver. I smashed my head against the inside of the fridge, and i didn't cry. in fact, all unhappiness was hid from my face before i even went into the dining room to eat. /Cody ripped me up today, I said "nice tie" and he wouldn't even look up. jerk./ FF: spirts within was ok, but like.. you're not goign to fuckin' hurt a ghost with a stupid gun. whatever, pretty damn good animation, though.. I'm a fan of puppets. ie. Dark Crystal, or Laberinth (sp) and this Legends movie everyone is talking about. though i dont knwo what they are talkign about./ i dont want to cry myself to sleep./ *wiggles to No doubt*/ Love is so stupid./ but dragons rock. its' weird, to some a dragon is totally magic based and so thinkign about the how and why of one is absurd, but when i see a dragon that is just imposible.. i almost feel in sulted. like if a dragon's wings are really tiny, there is no freakin' way it could fly with such small wings. *shrug* I'm so tired. not of body, but of mind. things drag me down, and I cant even tell what they are. I want to go curl up with Senor Bien of ButterFinger and not get out of bed./ I dont want to spend 2 weeks alone! I hate being alone. i love time to my self once ina while, but those days where no one calls to hangout or nights where everyone is asleep, the whole world asleep, and me, alone with my thoughts. dangerous painful thoughts of loves leaving. oh perfect things that fuck up, and it's all my fault. feelings that are shared but are then considered small and cliche because they were said before./ I feel so alone! mentally cold. only recently have people paid extra time stimulating my brain with conversations worth having, but then.. those become null, and when the time comes when you dont need to learn more of the other person, things get monotonus, pointless, gossip and trivial. what is god? who am i? where is my heart in this reached mess of this and that?! those conversations are shared and then droped, buried 6 ft downand it ends. am i wasting my life? if by dreamign of one person, am i missing out on another? on many others?/ i need knifes. guns are to loud. i need an outlet. i cant paint because jesse is home, so anthing bigger than a normal canvas i cant use, and what to draw? when i try to let out with paint how i feel i get get a girl lost in the woods or a mase over laying twisted dreams and frantic escapes. /i wish more people new me, those who do leave me, or somethign happens, and they realize they dont want to come back. Drew knows me, and hasn't left me, but, even though i love drew, it's different, it will always be differnt. i hate it when i realize that i coudl easily fall for someone in my life, liek a friend or a neighbor. esp. friend, because, do you say to them "once ina while i think of you as more than just my friend" or do you just pretend leik there is nothign?/ yuck the phone is ringing. i know it's the hospital but yet, that feekling of dread, liek it might be someone i know and the stern talkign to that will fallow my pickign up the phone. / I hope Dan and Tom come and visit, though I'll be crying anytime I'm alone, same as i do everytime./ i need happy music! and a hug. but music i can get! hmm.. happy happy happy.. dog dreams is fun, and singable :) o/~ Me and Rex took the car, HaHa! stay home, Stay! o/~ *dances in her chair* o/~ We're gonna find some great smelling bitches, and see if they ment what they said from the end of the leash! o/~geoff come home! i need someone to do our stuff with. / wow.. saying what i think really cuts back on thoughts. i keep pulling blanks up when i know there is so much more to be said. or felt. i still want to curl up. but i guess that's cause I'm still alone, and will eb for a long time. come dream with me, let our tears mingle on the pillow, cold winds blow, chilled to the bone we snuggle deeper into joy and misery till awakening to blank memory and fading feeling. come cry with me for days lost and feelings shared, quiet children knowiung all and foreverpressed to claim the throne that in no ones to give. come fly with me, over moutains and valleys, places that if we fall we are lost. songs echoing till you hear nothign. come dance with me till my toes are sore and you must carry me to my seat, chairs scraping on the floor of a busness mans dinner, blah blah blahblah. come play with me till i laugh so hard that life is forgoten, till i fall on my butt and say stop, i cant go anymore. rippled on the ceiling that we stare at after love, and speak of fun things to try and what is for dinner on the morrow. come to me oh mysterious perfection, ride in on the moon coloured steed, play your songs of promises and future, give to me forever and stop crying out for change. i need to stop typing. what shoudl i do insted? the spirt is willign, but the mind empty strange flowers grow on the barren land, when you show your plumage to the cock. Rose Current Mood: blah Current Music: Joe's Apartment - Be my bug (Comment on this)